An Update

Wow, it's been awhile since I started (and stopped) this blog. I feel like I've lived a couple of lifetimes since then. I was living in Idaho when I started writing and I thought the title was a funny play on that fact. Even though I no longer live there, I still like the title so I'm keeping it.

Here's an update on what's happened in my life since I started this blog:

1 - My husband was laid off from his job
2 -  My husband took a job four hours away from our home to support us and look for a better job. We end up living apart and seeing each other every few weeks for 9 months.
3 - An agreement we had for our home was broken and we lose our home
4 - Our oldest son moves back to Ohio
5 - Daughter graduates from high school
6 - We get a new job. We're moving to Utah
7 - We move and four months later, my husband was laid off again
8- Our van is destroyed in an accident by a stupid driver. We're all safe, except for the van
9- Our youngest son needs an emergency appendectomy (I'm pretty sure ALL appendectomies are an emergency)
10- Christmas comes and I see my oldest son for the first time in 11 months!
11 - We get a new job and we're moving back to Ohio
12- Daughter stays in Utah
13- Gets settled into new home/situation with half the kids
14 - Nephew dies in car accident caused by a drunk driver
15 - We get sued by the driver who hit our van for the loss of his car
16 - Life continues on

I looked at the purpose of this blog, which is to change my life and you can see that I've had more than a few changes...job loss, moves, illness, death...we've run through them all.

The biggest change I've made is learning how to trust my Heavenly Father to heal and help me, no matter what trial comes my way. There are other trials during this time that are too personal to list. It doesn't matter what it's been, though. My faith and my knowledge that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, who wants my happiness and who wants to bless my life has made all the difference to me. I've made it through these trials because I've turned to Him.

I love my family and I love that I am growing and changing. Maybe I needed the maturity of age, maybe I needed the Job-like avalanche of trials. I'm not sure what is the turning point, but I know I'm on a better path.

Sleeping Away the Cobwebs.

Check this out.

I've finally figured it out. The greatest secret of all time....want to know what it is?

SLEEP!

Can you believe it?! This is a major discovery for me! You would think at my advanced age of 43, I'd have discovered this sooner, but as it turns out...I'm not that quick. It must be because I'm so tired all the time.

I've always had sleep issues and I can clearly see how sleep has played a crucial role in my life. 99% of the depression I've struggled with over the years can be directly related to my lack of sleep.

When my babies were little...okay, YOUNGER (those of you who know my kids know they've never really been "little"), I often said I was a walking sleep-deprivation study.

I've had years of sleep I've wanted to catch up on and don't think I've missed the irony that after years of wanting nothing but sleep, I'm now physically incapable of getting it! It's too, too cruel. What I mean is that I've lost the ability to sleep in! I know! It's like I've been punk'd!

Since I can no longer sleep past 6:30 a.m., I need to adjust the other way and get to bed earlier. So, my goal this month is a simple one. I'm going to go to bed. Early. My goal is to be in bed by 10:30 p.m. I'm also creating a night time routine to help me sleep.

That's it. My first step to changing my life is to sleep 8 hours a night and see what changes that brings. I'll keep you posted, but right now, I'm tired and my pillow is beckoning. I'm off to bed.

Sleep is the word, is the word, is the word (sung to the tune, "Grease").

Learning to Live With Me

Several years ago, I fell in love with the music of Gary Allan. Gary has a song called, "Learning to Live With Me." These words from this song really touched me:

Is anybody satisfied with who they really are?
You could be the moon
And still be jealous of the stars.
You gotta' learn to swim
If you can't walk upon the sea,
So I'm learning to live with me.

I've been on a journey for the last few years of trying to figure exactly how to live with me. Part of what I'm learning is that there a quite a few things I need to change. I simply don't like who I've become.

I'm also learning that there are quite a few things I do like about me and that are great the way they are. I'm learning to accept, acknowledge and embrace those things.

Mostly, I'm learning that to have a different and better life, I need to make different and better choices.

This blog is about my journey, the things I'm discovering and learning about how to make my life the best it can be...As Gary says, "I'm learning to live, Learning to forgive, I'm learning to Live With Me."